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#147 | May 21, 2025 | 23:00-ish

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Cycle: Follicular – Day 19

Location: Home – bed
Context: Bidding goodnight to my core parts and unexpected discovery

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🧠 Thought Stream

[bedtime ritual thought]: I slept that image on my mind last night. I bid them good night.

[joyful visualization thought]: I feel like they’re all jumping on me for a hug.

[drawn thought]: Somehow, I was drawn towards them wanting to touch them. I did.

[surprising discovery thought]: As I got closer to one of them, I was surprised to see there’s a child among them.

[nurturing action thought]: Since I’m about to sleep, I sat on the floor and cuddled the child to sleep.

[observational thought]: And she was so comfortable with her toy snuggled tight not looking up on me.

[recognition moment thought]: As I looked at her, I saw a familiar face. I wasn’t sure so I asked her, “Are you Maan?”

[confirmation thought]: She looked up at me and nodded. She didn’t say a word.

[emotional breakdown thought]: Oh my.. I broke down and cry in my bed. I didn’t expect to see myself.

[age recognition thought]: I realized she was stuck at 6yo. I remembered the book NO BAD PARTS asking how old “parts” are.. in my case, I didn’t need to ask the child. She was six.

[traumatic memory thought]: And that age was my conscious self forced into labour helping around, taking care of my younger siblings.. doing household chores, until I grow up.

[deep observation thought]: I looked at her face intently. Surveying what she could have been feeling. I could see a child — tired, hesitant, scared.. but she clung to my hug rocking her to sleep.

[painful realization thought]: I felt that time she hasn’t experienced she’s loved or comforted.

[emotional response]: I’m brawling when I slept. I just couldn’t believe I’ve met my young self.

[healing communication thought]: I introduced myself to her, my age. I told her we grown up now. We did it. I now have a kid.. she looked at me confused.

[comforting action thought]: I kept rocking her on my lap.. wanting to comfort. I told her IT’S OK, ok? She nods her head.

[physical response]: I kept hugging myself while brawling. I cannot explain what had just happened.

[seeking understanding thought]: I asked my thoughts what’s going on? I saw that mysterious woman and four figures.. I looked up at them.. but they just looked down on the floor.

[collective emotion thought]: Deep sadness.

[withdrawal response thought]: And that woman walked away towards the blackness.

~body: uncontrollable crying, wimping while physical embracing of self with concern that I might wake up my son, Dragan.

~feeling: overwhelmed, protective, heartbroken, healing

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THEORETICAL CONNECTIONS

This experience connects to concepts such as:

1.1. Inner Child Work and Trauma Recovery The spontaneous emergence of your 6-year-old self during bedtime visualization reflects what trauma therapy calls “inner child work” – the process of reconnecting with wounded aspects of self that were forced into premature adulthood. To explore diverse perspectives, try searching “inner child healing across cultures” or “childhood trauma and parts integration.”

2. Reparative Experiences and Internal Attachment

Your instinctive response to comfort your child self – sitting on the floor, rocking her, telling her “we did it” – demonstrates what attachment therapy calls “reparative experience” – providing internally what was missing externally during development. To explore diverse perspectives, try searching “reparative attachment experiences” or “traditional healing approaches to childhood wounds.”

3. Collective Internal Response and Witness Consciousness

The empathetic sadness of your support figures and the mysterious woman’s withdrawal reflects what depth psychology calls “witness consciousness” – how different aspects of psyche respond to traumatic material being processed, sometimes by providing respectful distance for healing to occur. To explore diverse perspectives, try searching “witness consciousness trauma processing” or “collective internal responses in healing traditions.”

4. Somatic Memory and Embodied Healing

The physical response of “hugging myself while brawling” shows how psychological healing manifests through the body when deep recognition occurs. This aligns with research on how traumatic memories are stored somatically and released through compassionate touch. To explore diverse perspectives, try searching “somatic experiencing trauma release” or “embodied approaches to healing across traditions.”

These connections were curated with assistance from Claude AI.

STANDARD DISCLAIMER:

WooshBrain connects personal experience with broader psychological concepts. While I aim for accuracy, these connections are starting points for exploration rather than definitive interpretations. I encourage readers to explore these ideas through their own research.