Abandoning Hope: A Profound Paradigm Shift Beyond Productivity Systems

Cycle: Follicular – Day 12

Location: Home – desk

Context: Beyond Hope by Oliver Burkeman’s book Four Thousand Weeks

🧠 Thought Stream

[reflective thought]: It’s been 2 mornings after reading that last chapter of the book: BEYOND HOPE. What a coincidence after spending worth 4-5 days of updating, thinking, changing different LIFE OS planner from August Bradley’s comprehensive PPV Notion planner to staring at Greg McKeown’s the essentialism planner to buying Kevechino’s Gamified Life Planner and making it my own. I went great lengths just to find what works for me. It’s exhausting. But it didn’t. Why? Because at the end of the day, I couldn’t track anything.

[questioning thought]: Why is that again?

[insight thought]: Because I am stuck, going in circles. I know this is just a rehash of the exact moment of finally finding and understanding the truth.

~feeling: Tired

~body: Blocked

[resigned thought]: I guess we’ll do it another time. It feels forced.

[explanatory thought]: Why? because you drained your energy updating your profile in Gravatar. Which the plan is sit down and type thoughts.

[third-person thought]: In the first place, she knows it’ll be a long thought entry. ]

[methodological thought]: You know what I realized? If a thought is “reorienting a belief” is still fresh like maybe within 8 hours, capture it. All the juices and rush of emotions are captured here, and we could chime in.

[breakthrough thought]: It’s a beautiful and most important thought reorganizing event that I witness in myself. The first one was in 2009. The impact is the same cognitive dissonance. The result is seeing for the first time the “planner” is not the mover; it’s a band-aid of my assuming belief of my high regard of the function of HOPE in my life against REALITY, against UNCERTAINTY. It’s damning to finally see that black is black. No layered perceptions of the color that it might be grayish. But fuck, it’s black. Do you know what that means?

~Body: Loose

[empathetic thought]: I know how it blew your mind off. We were shocked to the core, too.

[quoting thought]: In Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman quoted Pema Chödron: “Abandoning hope is an affirmation, the beginning of the beginning.” – An American Buddhist nun.

[connecting thought]: This is what you want. A clear beginning. Let’s talk more about it. Your hungry and time to prep food for your son.

End at 7:19

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