Mortality and Meaning: Deathbed Clarity While Cleaning

Menstruation: Day 1

Location: Office building

Context: Mopping and thinking about if this kind of life is part of pain to reach some goals.. whatever the goal?

🧠 Thought Stream

[existential questioning thought]: Do you really think you have a purpose? if you are going to die today what would be your regrets? Does not able to lose weight and look at the best version of your body matter to you in your death bed?

[probing thought]: I’m asking what would you regret if you’re not gonna achieve it if you did not gonna make it?

[meta-questioning thought]: Should you really have that question? How would you know if that desires is giving you satisfaction achieving it gives you the joy?

[complexity thought]: You know that kind of question is hard to discern because you have to be honest with yourself at your core of what you really want. Of course every day you are required to get up and do the work because others are lying to you and you lie to the other Work for you to survive. And if you have to think of it there are many forces that are pushing you at many directions.

[deeper questioning thought]: And how would you know that the nudges are your desires carrying pains, discomforts, fears, responsibilities is what you really really really want? And in your deathbed is your the ONE OF THE MANY TO REGRETS?

[clarity thought]: Hmmm for sure.. it is a regret not to be with my son longer that I would hope for.. to see him how he would become in his own ways.

[grounding thought]: So let’s start from there.

~Feeling: relieved, at ease

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