Context: Done refreshing/cleaning 3 apartments today and finally done for the day.
🧠 Thought Stream
[embarrassment thought]: I’m left this bucket. I don’t mind bringing the bag. But I feel ashamed carrying around the bucket. My car is parked at a walking distance.
[vulnerability thought]: You know, that red bucket puts me down into reality. I can pretend, you know, with that black bag. It hides my insecurities, my low confidence. And, oh, but with that red bucket, it’s not hiding. It’s like I’m fully naked. You know what I mean? Like, it’s what people see. They can see what I think. You know, it’s the way it is.
[self-questioning thought]: Is this something to be proud of?
~Reflecting how to settle my emotions that it’s ok
~Feeling discomfort
~Sighing
[pragmatic thought]: You’re not proud because you are more than this… but it brings you food to eat.
[authentic thought]: That’s the thing, you know. That reality undermines and shuts off what I’m truly feeling. Like a forced gratefulness of the situation. Because it is true that I am ashamed, sad for myself that I ended up doing this humbling work just to get by in the foreign country.
~Staring blankly down the stairs
[persistent thought]: I’m still not used to this after 3 years as commercial cleaner.
[questioning thought]: It’s degrading, don’t you feel that?
[honest thought]: Yes. Not pretty work.
[philosophical thought]: Reminding you that life is what it is you’re experiencing and thinking.
[redirecting thought]: But hey, I’m feeling excited of your Notion Life OS, you know. Can’t wait to dive it in when we get home!
~Feeling light thinking of creative work to do
[disciplinary thought]: Stop the pity. Ayaw na ug pagdra-drama diha. Move on. Walk on now… Head high pagtabok nimo.
[distracting thought]: Oy, diba magpalit pakag drinks sa Mr, Mango para sa video trending for cousins requested ni Maj?
WooshBrain 