Rejecting “Discipline”: The Search for a Different Path

There must be another way beyond discipline—one that doesn’t begin with self-hate.

Luteal Cycle: Day 20
Location: Home – Laptop corner
Context: pre-class, after brief journaling spiral

🧠 Thought Stream

[aversion thought]: I don’t like advice on

• how to be disciplined
• how to be more disciplined
• it’s all in the mind
• have a mindset
  It’s a trigger to self-hating.

[feeling]: self-pity, impassioned

[body sensations]: bruised, clenched, heavy

[body]: big sigh

[frustrated questioning thought]: Why? Why why is it hard?

[body sensations]: sensitive

[body]: teary-eyed, stress is up

[resentful thought]: Advices from my husband are grrrr!

[feeling]: angry, overwhelmed

[doubt thought]: It’s confusing now if I should proceed to join the 6-week shred

challenge by Hailey Fitness Happens. Somehow I doubt myself if I can sustain or maintain or be improved.

[practical thought]: Also, it’s an investment… the money side.

[echoing criticism thought]: Ingon imong bana nga bisan unsa pa na nga exercises etc… if wala kay disiplina… if dili ka kahunahuna unsay mahitabo ugma, walay konsiderar… nothing will happen. Ma-stuck ra gihapon kas imong style. Dili ka kagawas. Gatamboka naka. Yoyo style sa weight.

[resistant thought]: Phew! Dili baya jud sayon. Dili sayon. There must be another way other than having a self-disciplined.

[visceral reaction thought]: Sooo negative term. I despise it.

[feeling]: pressured

[body sensations]: nauseous

[hopeful thought]: You read the book What Works by Tara again, please. Maybe it will give you another perspective. I know it’s probably not the right moment… reading it out of desperation?

[encouraging thought]: We never know. This time… with less workload. It might help.

[time-bound thought]: Time’s up. Online class starts at 9am. You haven’t eaten proper breakfast yet. Take care. Just try to read some bits of chapters or pages today. Get clarity.

end at 8:51