[thought]: well i fucked up

thought: Yes you did. You fucked it up. Lol.

feling: amused

body: sigh

thought: oh well, what can I do

visual thought: shrugging

thought: well for one thing, it’s an output of the system. Letting you know what didn’t work. The situation, time, what you’re doing and not. You can’t just predict it. No matter how you visualize it. Somehow.. you’re going to fuck it up. But hey, no competition.

thought: the thing is.. My health status is my competition. I can’t be acting like I’m no dying.

thought: hmm you’re right

thought: you know what you were thinking.. been thinking and realizing that … you noticed that when you have lots of free time.. you tend to lose focus.

thought: I guess it’s true that routine keeps you sane.

thought: the problem is.. it seems you judt son’t have a stable routine and it’s harder for you to plan. Even the timing of eating.

thought: weird

body: stress response

thought: well i have good intentions (not plan—won’t use that word now) to exercise tomorrow morning

thought: yeah if you feel good

thought: true. should i even force it? where to draw the line?

thought: one is.. if you’re exhausted. second, not if you just feel lazy and have random excuses. third, not without looking what’s ahead.

thought: i really don’t know. up to you because it’s been two solid weeks you’re not working out. first week, you were sick flu. second week, could be recovering.

thought: at least you have good intentions

thought: we’ll talk more about it tomorrow. hopefully next week.. you have a good or better routine.

thought: ah yes, i hope so and i think so. i better get some sleep now. bed time. Thanks for the time and not judging or not being critical with me. i appreciate it.

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end at 21:38