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The 4PM Dilemma: Conversations with my eating thoughts

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[trigger thought]: uncontrolled eating, can’t keep tracking the food i’ve eaten for analysis purposes, afternoon and in the home triggers snacking

[cultural thought]: maybe it’s a cultural thing you know, eating in the afternoon with bread, saging ba kaha.

[questioning thought]: why can’t I change? why can’t you (thoughts) aren’t cooperating? what’s going on here?

[feelings]: troubled

[body]: stress response

[conscious thought]: we can’t go on like this. i can’t go on like this. one way or another, i have to eat better, get back to exercise. i have no issues with getting 7-8 hours of sleep. it’s just that afternoon… shit… what is it all about?

[analytical thought]: when you’re feeling relaxed, comforted.. i mean when you want to feel relax, comforted from the day’s work

[pattern recognition l thought]: i can eat healthy in the morning and lunch… more or less i can manage to eat better in those hours. but by golly.. after 2pm or 3pm… by 3pm.. something’s triggering my thoughts (whoever you are) to eat to make the afternoon maybe complete. it’s been like that even in back home in Manticao. dili ko kasabot.

[investigative thought]: hmmm ngano kaha na ba. maybe ato i-track.. kung ano ba talaga ang ganap sa hapon. every afternoon nalang jud. weird

[frustrated thought]: unsaon nalang mani…

[observational thought]: i think you start paying attention what’s in the afternoon. every 4 hours ka gakaon.

[conscious thought]: counting if starting to eat at 8am, then eat lunch at 12nn.. then snack at 4pm

[informational thought]: hmmm, ingon nila makadaot sa tiyan ang sigeg kaon. i mean if mag snack kag 4pm.. unya dapat daw ingon si Alan Aragon (ok, backup by research), nga dapat maka-dinner na before 7pm. so.. might as well, by 6pm isahaon nalng nimo imong dinner + snack

[thought visual]: seems like nodding motion inside my mind

[strategic thought]: ok, that seems possible. whatever snacks i eat in 4pm.. i just have to eat it by 6pm. i like that.

[commitment thought]: let’s try it this afternoon. shall we?

[accepting thought]: i can manage that.

[feeling]: good yet insecure

[body]: face sort of smirking but it’s a facia expression that i feel defeated that i know (sort of) i’m just good starting

[encouraging thought + body]: you know, let’s just try. i know you hardly trust yourself you can stick to what you planned, but this time it is different. we have a new angle. we’re only (at the same time mouth pouting)…. focusing on this particular event. the afternoon snack. what is it in that moment that everything you sabotaged. you started a great start in eating better in the morning and afternoon. so, i guess, let’s focus on that. that’s our concern.

[integrative thought]: besides, we are consciously try to integrate afternoon snack + dinner eating and see what it can do

[doubtful thought]: do you think I’ll go crazy later?

[planning thought]: Or how about try to see your day’s schedule… and try to anticipate the energetic resources will it demand you know. Let’s say today, you don’t clean. You’re going to process your PSW requirements

[celebratory thought]: yehey! see you can do it. remember, it’s been weeks deciding if taking PSW will go for you? remember the BOTH/AND thinking

[connecting thought]: yes, the BOTH/AND THINKING. how can we do that too in eating better?

[resourceful thought]: ah, i remember, FLEXIBLE DIETING. the book from ALAN ARAGON. just be flexible.

[awareness thought]: you haven’t finished reading it, but it’s good to know that knowledge is just right there in your bookshelves.

[supportive thought]: but for now, Gail needs assistance in figuring out and experimenting the merging of snacking and dinnering ok? let’s focus on that first. Gail has more or less idea about it. she was a certified nutrition coach, and she has done it before losing weight after giving birth.

[reminder thought]: it took her 2 years. but she did it. she knows what it feels like

[skeptical thought]: does she remember the struggles and triumphs? i don’t think so

[reflective thought]: there was a motivation …

[memory thought]: yeah, when a guy she met while crossing the road told her “pag gym na oy” and her aunt, Rosita, while in a van to CDO kept repeating telling her take good care of your body.

[critical thought]: it seems people can’t wait to be you looking good eh? it’s all about aesthetics

[body]: stress response, eye rolling

[feeling]: disgusted

[dismissive thought]: whatever. i hated it.

[determined thought]: but this time it’s my health consequences. I’m 42. I can feel hip pain, butt plain, leg pain if I sit longer and/or can’t exercise my body either by cleaning or working out. I have no choice. I don’t have the luxury of time and body age anymore. ok? i need you all to help me, to cooperate with me. whatever we plan, please help.

[practical thought]: yes, and you’re forgetful already. so, set an alarm.

[responsive thought]: i will

[advisory thought]: remember, check your plan for today. If it’s too open, no cleaning, anticipate how your body and thoughts want it to be lazy, cozy, eating like there’s no death tomorrow coming. eating like there’s no disease tomorrow coming. watch out. be a watcher of your own behavior.

[purposeful thought]: now, that’s a good purpose on why you need to plan for tomorrow. nothing else. this is not like a year ago where tracking for other people responsibilities.. more on validation.. more on too much giving to others that you neglect “you” and your son’s. this time it’s different. plan for tomorrow to see whatcha going to do, visualize how the afternoon will play out

[appreciative thought]: now, i like that visualization exercise. maybe it’s time for you to use the Life Operating System by August Bradley. Just for this purposes

[body]: stress response

[feeling]: overwhelmed

[adaptive thought]: okay, you’re body’s telling you fuck off. maybe just a simple log. use this wooshbrain then. you’re getting comfortable here. start your experiment here.

[accepting thought]: okay, i’ll do it.

[feeling]: confident

[concluding thought]: i have to stop

[body]: check time 7:09

[practical thought]: i have to prep breakfast for my son, and I too need to get ready for CDK (walk-in clinic) for my vaccinations requirement.

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end: 7:10 am