#92 | March 16, 2025 | 11:30

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Boundaries and Self-Integration: The wisdom of Internal Restraint


[trigger]: counting last entry’s total voices

[realizing thought]: 33 different voices or thoughts in almost an hour of conversation or dialogue to myself. how crazy is that? unbelievable. i think, it’s no wonder I sought external voices to guide me because how messy and fluid these thoughts are in my mind.

[boundary-setting thought]: so i guess, it makes a total sense to keep your mouth shut to topics outside of your mind unless able to internally process it. don’t you think?

[emphatic thought]: yes, because other people’s mind is working just like mine. too many triggered thoughts.

[cautionary thought]: even your own mind has internal disagreement, how much more onto people’s beliefs, opinions. it’s a dangerous territory.

[uncertain thought]: for now.. i have no final answer as to when you can share your thoughts (in harmony within yourself).

[exemplifying thought]: maybe as they say.. politics, religion, money, and whatnot.

[contextual thought]: yes, happening in the Philippines former Pres. Duterte in ICC, Hague for crimes against humanity. even my own family is divided. President Trump’s two month presidency created uncertainties worldwide.

[overwhelmed thought]: that’s a lot of burden of your thoughts to process now.

[simplifying thought]: is there a way thoughts can just be silenced and let Maan/Gail move forward? you know, without us getting offended or triggered

[realistic thought]: lol. you’re asking an impossible. of course, we get triggered! silly thought. very naive

[mediating thought in Cebuano]: hay naku.. ayaw mog away please. magsakit akong ulo samot.

[body]: tensed, immediate stress response

[pragmatic thought]: just leave them as it is.. the ways things are. and let’s understand our own selves first. that’s the only wan we can control. beyond that.. it’s asking for trouble. Maan Gail is starting this journey just barely 3 weeks in understanding her mind landscape.. what’s going on inside.

[singing thought]: i said hey hey hey, hey hey hey. i said hey.. what’s going on

[clarifying thought]: i think this talk is about just sharing what I realized how many of us. conscious thought doesn’t have to work in isolation and in automatic mode. there’s more to it than just deciding yes or no in an instant.

[connecting thought]: oh right! remember they say when setting boundaries, you got to be not a ‘yes’ person. it takes a moment, an internal dialogue, check many’s if it’s really a yes or no. you got to consider a lot of things.

[directive thought]: be mindful.

[feeling]: clarity

[assertive thought in Tagalog]: hindi pweding puro “yes, ma’am.. at yes, sir..” no girl.. fight for yourself.

[moderating thought]: errr feels out of tune for you to say “fight for yourself”.. you’re triggering something else.

[body]: immediate stress response

[feeling]: annoyed

[summarizing thought]: anyway, we have some clarity here. i think we’ve talked about minding our own business, set boundaries, listen first to yourself.

[checking thought]: wait, let me check this conversation if it’s correct

[body]: scrolling up the documentation

[confirming thought]: i think that’s it, all is covered.

[feeling]: confused

[self-examining thought]: i don’t know why i’m confused. i think i’m stuck with fight for yourself. it sounds combative. tired of having that savior mentality.

[emotional thought]: anxious

[reassuring thought]: hey, there’s nothing to be anxious about. it’s just your past experiences with Kingston NetworkBuddy. you helped other people. don’t discount that.

[understanding thought]: it’s just that.. she’s not yet over with the exhaustion part. and she wants to move on.

[body]: elevated stress response. throbbing headache.

[feeling]: tired, disengaged

[grounding thought]: hey Gail.. we’re not doing any KNB community service now. remember? breathe in/breathe out please

[body]: inhale/exhale

[perspective thought]: don’t ruin your day just for this. that hero-self served you good and bad.. okay, good and lessons to be learned. life is like that. there’s lessons to move us forward.

[body]: starting to relax

[nurturing thought]: drink your coffee. it’s getting cold.

[closing thought]: enough for now. ok?

[body]: big exhale

[grateful thought]: ok, thanks for reminding me. i appreciate it.


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