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When Reminders Feel Like Pressure: The Internal Clash of Survival and Simplicity

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[my mother’s reminder trigger]: take IELTS or CELPIP for Permanent Resident application

[conflictec thought]: I don’t know why it feels conflicting.

[uncomfortable thought]: phew! Pinogos ang pamati.

[consicous thought]: I told mama that I’d go home and I’d rather eat grass. It is suffering here.

[body]: tightening of chest, elevated heart rate, ngolngol ang ulo

[reminder thought]: remember, you told your husband yesterday that…

[dismissive thought]: psst it’s theirs for the keeping

[accepting thought]: oh okayyy

[conscious]: I think, having more money (to save some and to bring some home) would mean more work. I don’t like going home at 4pm or 5pm. I want to end work at 1pm or 2pm. Flexibility. I don’t care anymore if I have a dime money. I think I’m contented. It’s a loooong game.

[fatalistic thought]: Everybody dies. That’s the escape. Only.

[helpless questioning thought]: What can we do?

[frustrated thought]: ngano man jud pogson ang pamati para lang mabuhi or komportable ang kinabuhi.

[values-focused thought]: Can we just focus on less stress in the moment, okay ang panglawas (fitness and health).

[negotiating thought]: Pwede ra makonteto tang tanan? Way magbida ug pangotana unsaon pag survive ang ugma? Kay naa mangud mag panic nag bae.. maghinuoktok dayon.

[simplifying thought]: If only 1-2-3 steps lang unto.. it’ll be smooth sailing.

[body]: big sigh

[problem-solving thought]: pangitaan nato nag solusyon. For the meantime, she needs to sleep now. Mag exercise raba na sya ugma.. maoy iyang plano

[concerned thought]: ug dili sya magdaot (flu ba kaha). Or mag walking lang kaha ka sa treadmill ugma sa gym para malihok ng cardio nimo.

[sarcastic thought]: haler, as if sedentary na sya.

[realistic thought]: She is.. mag 2-3x a week. Not bad. Pero ug way trabahoon, magkaona pod ug banat. Unsaon nalang kaha ka ug tabang ba.

[critical thought]: gusto maniwang pero signet habhab.

[judgmental thought]: Naa jud guro ni siyay something sa brain..

[defensive thought]: hoy.. kalain nimo manorya. Sobraan ra sad oi. That’s why nga.. let’s help her dig the issues.

[caring thought]: Okay, tolog na. You’re starting to feel not feeling well. Good night.

[conscious]: hay, kalibog. Bug-at ako utok. I should’ve sat down and let my thoughts process the worries.

[feeling]: guilty. Troubled.

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